31.07.2026

Hello Everyone… ki haal chaal?

Aaj maine 5:30 ka alarm lagayi thii, and surprisingly perfect timing par meri aankh bhi khul gayi. But subah na, body mein uthne ki himmat hi nahi hoti. So phir kya… alarm continuously ring hota gaya aur main finally 7:30 baje uthi.

Abbu ready ho rahe the job ke liye aur Ammi busy thi unki help karne mein—jo bhi cheezein hum dono, main aur Abbu, maang rahe the, woh sab laakar de rahi thi.

Aaj ka lunch tha aloo ki sabzi aur 2 rotis.

But pata nahi kyun, subah se hi mera dil bahot ghabra raha tha. And guess what? Main apni lucky chaddi bhi bhool gayi. Fun fact—mere paas bahot saari chaddiyan hain, Dara ki bhi pehan leti hoon, but ab mujhe yaad hi nahi aa raha tha ki meri lucky wali exactly kaunsi hai. Abb new task shuru to find my lucky chaddi..😂

Actually, main lucky clothes ko lekar thodi weird hoon. Agar maine koi suit ya T-shirt pehni aur uss din mera din accha nahi gaya, toh main usse apne best days par dobara kabhi nahi pehenti. I mostly avoid them.

So, mann mein already itni ghabrahat lekar main office ke liye nikal gayi. Upar se bus bhi nahi aa rahi thi. Main bas soch rahi thi—“Mujhe padhna hai… isse better toh main ghar par hoti. At least padh toh rahi hoti.”

Finally West wali 433 bus aayi, main station pahunchi aur station se train bhi mil gayi. And as usual, maine attendance mein absent mark kar diya. Uske baad mujhe itna zyada regret ho raha tha na… But then I studied for almost two hours, and honestly, that really helped me answer questions in the exam.

2:30 baje lunch finish karke main exam ke liye nikal gayi. I was feeling extremely nervous. Raaste mein Dara aur Sabeb ka message bhi aaya—dono ne mujhe all the best bola.

Main bas apni duas padh rahi thi. Phir main building mein enter hui. Calculator, pencil, pen, bottle… sab kuch lekar I entered. If someone knows me, they know how much I fear exams.

Starting ke kaafi questions mujhe confirm aate the. I was happy. But phir mujhe realise hua ki meri preparation mein kami thi… bahot zyada kami thi.

Mujhe NISM ke loops pata hain. Mujhe pata tha ki mujhe deep preparation karni chahiye thi. Still, maine wahi mistake ki.

So, jo bhi ye exam dene ka soch raha hai, meri advice hai—please meri galti mat karna. Yeh ek ya do mahine padhkar dene wali exam nahi hai. You have to prepare very deeply. Workbook ki har ek line ko samajhna padega. Concepts ko sirf theoretically nahi, practically bhi understand karna padega.

Broooo… exam bahot hard nahi tha. Actually, it was quite easy. Problem meri preparation thi. Mujhe concepts pata the, but meri preparation deep nahi thi. I scored 62 marks, jismein mere 20+ questions wrong the and I scored 56.2%. And mujhe apni haar batana bilkul pasand nahi hai. But yes… I FAILED.

Meri chest uss waqt bahot heavy feel ho rahi thi. Main khud ko baar-baar keh rahi thi—“Please ro mat.” Main apne saare aansu andar hi daba rahi thi aur chup-chaap ghar ki taraf chal rahi thi.

Bahot zyada haara hua feel karte hue. Jab main ghar pahunchi, mere little brother ne poocha, “Kaisi thi exam?” Aur maine bola, “Mast thi.” Sach mein mast thi. Adventurous thi. Bhaiiiiiiiiiiiiii  Bas result mere favour mein nahi tha.

Uss moment par mujhe lag raha tha ki shayad main finance ke liye bani hi nahi hoon. Main kuch nahi kar paungi. Iss field mein survive karna hi ek battle hai—har waqt kuch naya seekhna, aware rehna, padhna, dimaag lagana… har ek ghante kuch naya learn karna. Ghar aakar mujhe realise hua ki mera phone exam centre ke locker mein hi reh gaya hai.

Main turant wapas gayi. And Alhamdulillah… mera phone mil gaya. Locker se apna purse nikalte waqt ek awaaz bhi aayi thi, but main itni sad thi ki mujhe kuch properly feel hi nahi ho raha tha. Honestly, mujhe bahot bura laga tha ki main fail ho gayi.

But somewhere, I am 100% sure ki Allah ne mere liye kuch aur, kuch better likha hai. Aur mujhe shukriya kehne mein bilkul kanjoosi nahi karni chahiye. My Rab knows me. He knows exactly what I need to learn.

Shayad Allah ki marzi hai ki main aur concepts padhu. Shayad isi liye mujhe aur deeply samajhna hai, taaki ek din main India ki best analysts mein se ek ban sakun. Best trader ban sakun. Best investor ban sakun.

Aur mujhe pata hai—finance kahin khatam nahi hone wala. Agar mera career kisi traditional finance job mein nahi bana, toh main trading karungi. Agar woh bhi nahi, toh shayad apna kuch start karungi. Maybe ek din khud ki firm open karungi. Maybe financial markets ke baare mein logon ko aware karun. I don't know. Honestly, mujhe abhi tak nahi pata ki main life mein exactly kya karungi chahti hoon. But ek cheez pata hai.Kuch bhi ho, mujhe khush rehna hai. Mujhe apni young age jeeni hai. Mujhe masti karni hai. New things try karni hain. Bahot travel karna hai. Aur Inshallah, Allah jo mere liye best hoga, wahi mere naseeb mein likhega. Allah… I love You the most. Phir mujhe fever jaisa feel hone laga. Mera chehra bilkul utar gaya tha. Meri right eye ki eyelid muscle mein bahot pain ho raha tha. Even Aik ki mom ne kaha, “Tera chehra toh bilkul utar gaya hai.”

And I knew… Mere mind aur heart mein jo pain tha, usse accept karna easy nahi tha.

Main ghar aakar thoda enjoy kar rahi thi, but phir Abbu se daant pad gayi. Aur ek moment ke liye mujhe laga—bas apna bag pack karo aur bhaag jao. But main jaa nahi sakti. Life se bhaag kar kahaan jaungi? Survive karna bahot hard hai, but bhaag jaana solution nahi hai. Sabko apni-apni takleefein hain. Aur agar koi mujhe samajh nahi paa raha, iska matlab yeh nahi ki mujhe bhi unhe samajhna band kar dena chahiye. They want me to be a gharelu, aagya-kaari ladki. Aur main waise nahi hoon. Toh daant toh padti hai. Aur jo aansu main shaam se daba rahi thi… Aakhir woh bhi nikal gaye. Aur phir aaya sabse difficult feeling… Regret. Main rote-rote likhne ki bahot koshish kar rahi thi, but everything was turning into scribbles. 

Phir safai karte waqt mujhe meri 2023 ki diary mili. Wahi diary jo main uss time apne bag mein lekar ghoomti thi.Maine usse khola. Aur usse padhkar mujhe ek cheez realise hui… Jis ladki ko 2023 mein market ki zero knowledge thi… Jise yeh tak nahi pata tha ki start kahaan se karna hai… Aaj, sirf teen saal baad, wahi ladki logon ko guide kar rahi hai ki finance mein career kaise start karna hai. Log mujhe guidance ke liye call karte hain. People trust my knowledge. And then I realised… Main haar nahi gayi hoon. Main already jeet chuki hoon. Bas aaj mujhe ek cheez nahi mili. But maybe, it is okay. Phir maine Chand aur mujhe draw kiya. I have been missing her for so many days. Aur phir humari baat bhi hue.

I respect her time. I respect whatever she is going through. Allah, please meri friend ki saari takleefein aasaan kar do. Uske dil ko sukoon do. Usse khush rakho. Usse baat karke mujhe sach mein bahot accha laga. And lastly, I want to say something to all my dear ones… Main bilkul theek hoon. Maybe Allah chahte hai ki main life ki har cheez seekhun.

Strong banu. Girun. Phir uthun. Aur shayad Allah toughest battles apne bravest soldiers ko hi deta hai. And yes… Main soldier hoon. Main strong hoon. Main phir uthungi. I love you all so much. Aur jo bhi mujhe padh raha hai… You are a part of my heart. Aap sab mujhe meri life jeene mein help karte ho. And honestly, itna lamba likhne ke baad mujhe ab bahot better feel ho raha hai.

Jis haal mai hu khuda uss haal mai bhi teri Ada..Alhamdulillah..✨️

Safarnama.