29.07.2026
Hii Guys, Asli Wala, I’m Back!
(Writting this on 01.08)
Kal raat maine kaafi koshish ki kuch likhne ki, but honestly, everything went scribble. Jo likha, woh mujhe khud hi waste of time laga. Shayad… ya phir shayad Allah mujhe kuch negative document karne se rok rahe the. Maybe He wanted me to understand it first before I put it into words.
Anyways, let me put my update here.
Honestly, I’m not well. I was not well. And for a long time, I was looking for someone who could just be there for me. Someone who could understand me, listen to me, and stay when things were not okay.
But this week, or maybe these past few weeks, taught me something important — everyone is fighting their own battles. Everyone is carrying something that we may know nothing about. And at the end of the day, the only person who can truly be there for you, every single time, is you.
Haan, meri self se main kya hi kahu? Woh khud hi itni nadaan hai. Kabhi-kabhi lagta hai jaise main khud ko hi torture karti rehti hoon. Galat-galat cheezein bolti hoon, overthink karti hoon, khud ko blame karti hoon, aur phir khud se hi poochti hoon — Why am I doing this to myself?
And somewhere inside me, there is a little Khush who is also tired. She is also quietly praying that maybe, someday, I will finally give her some relief. Maybe she is waiting for me to stop being so hard on her.
But this was my backstory.
And I think having a backstory is important. Making mistakes is important. Falling apart is important. Learning from those mistakes is important. But the most important thing is realising what went wrong and having the courage to change it.
Today, I realised something very simple — I need to become my own best friend.
I need to ask myself, What does she really want? What is she chasing? What makes her happy? What is hurting her? What does she need right now? So, here I am — trying to be a little kinder to myself, a little more patient with myself, and hopefully, a little better than I was yesterday.
Kehna aasaan hai, lekin jab aap actually us situation mein hote ho, tab apni feelings ko samajhna, situation ko accept karna, aur apne decisions ko reality mein badalna… it's quite hard.
But I know it's not going to happen overnight. I know I might fall back into my old patterns sometimes, but I will try my best — one day at a time, one step at a time.
Because this time, I don't want to just talk about change. I genuinely want to become it.
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