DAY141-23-05-2026: SOME CANCELLATION ARE GOOD TOO...

 23-05-2026: Saturday

english blog.

~SUNSET~

Taking a deep breath in and out, trying to prepare my mind for everything life throws at me… Sometimes I really feel like I am still a flower trying to bloom slowly, and maybe that’s why I call my life a Safarnama — because every day feels like another page of a journey I’m still understanding.

I think I’ve always been emotionally connected to stories. Since childhood, I loved listening to people, understanding emotions, hearing different experiences, and observing how everyone silently carries their own world inside them. Maybe that’s why even ordinary days feel meaningful to me.

So today, on 23-05-2026 at 8:45 p.m, I’m sitting in frong of ammi while writing this blog with some chit chat- coz nobody can stop my patar patar

My morning actually started in a strange way. I saw a dream that disturbed me badly. It felt so real that even after waking up, my mind couldn’t leave it behind. In the dream, I felt trapped in some weird time-travel loop and suddenly my alarm rang loudly at 8:15 and broke everything. But honestly, that dream stayed in my head for half the morning.....

Still, life doesn’t stop because of dreams.(In loop)

I got up, started using my phone, talked to Liboy for some time, got fresh, washed my hair, and suddenly realized I was already getting late for office. Somehow I packed breakfast and tiffin quickly so I could eat later in office peacefully.

And surprisingly, both bus and train came on time today. Rare Mumbai miracle. 😭

When I reached office, I realized only Pinky ma’am was there. I asked her where everyone else was and she casually said everyone was on leave. At that exact moment my heart literally celebrated because I knew the day would be peaceful. Full AC office, silence everywhere, less work, sleepy vibes… honestly lovely.

Then I opened my tiffin and ate egg rice along with a Punjabi samosa I ordered from outside. Ate so peacefully that sleep instantly started attacking me. i slept for 20min power nap guyyyyysssssssss

sweetlime juice

After office, I went with ki for school hunt because her younger brother needed admission in 9th standard after shifting from Kandivali to Andheri. Mumbai heat already destroys energy and after walking continuously from one school to another, our condition became terrible. We visited Holy Family High School and St. Dominic School, and after all that walking, sweet lime juice literally felt like therapy. 🥤

After that she dropped me halfway near my finance institute where I had gone for CFA counselling.

That counselling session honestly filled my mind with confusion.

They explained all their courses, fees, placements, practical learning, research projects, AI-based projects, internships… and for a moment I genuinely got attracted because I don’t just want a certificate. I want practical learning. I want real exposure. I want to actually become skilled.

But then reality quietly entered my thoughts.

The CFA fees itself already felt huge:
Level 1 — ₹45,900
Level 2 — ₹35,000
Level 3 — ₹25,000

And then there was another programme costing around ₹2.5 lakh plus GST.

For some people maybe it’s normal, but for me it felt heavy. Very heavy.

I sat there thinking how education keeps becoming more expensive while students silently keep stressing about money behind every dream. And then fear also entered my mind — what if placements don’t happen after spending so much? What if I take a loan and regret it later?

The moment I came outside, I immediately called Chand and told her everything. Somewhere indirectly she advised me not to rush emotionally into loans just because something sounds shiny and promising.

And honestly, her words stayed in my head for the entire evening.

MINT LEMON MOJITO

After coming home, one of my relatives visited us. She got married recently last month and you all already know how many questions I ask people. 😭 I asked her everything — about married life, husband, mother-in-law, village life, Mumbai life, long distance, happiness… everything.

Because no matter how much I joke around, somewhere I observe life very deeply.

She told me her husband is supportive, but situations are still difficult because her family wants her to stay in the village while her husband works in Mumbai. Listening to her made me realize again how different life becomes after marriage for women.

KOREAN BUNS

Then suddenly my own thoughts started running.

One city… but completely different realities.

Some people live in beautiful buildings while some live inside tiny slum rooms where seven people somehow manage life together. Some women come home tired after long days and immediately start cooking rotis without even resting.

And there I was, silently listening and thinking about life.

Sometimes Mumbai itself feels like a lesson.

Later she wanted to go out for some time so I accompanied her. We ordered Korean cheese bun, cold drinks and cakes, and somehow small food moments make life feel softer for a while. 🤍

Then she gave me one advice that genuinely stayed with me. She told me not to trust everyone too quickly in office and to always take time understanding people because everyone isn’t always genuine.

And honestly… she was right.

By evening I watched the sunset quietly and for a few minutes everything inside me felt calm. No career stress. No dream loop. No future tension. Just silence and changing sky colors. 🌇

My Juhu plan also got cancelled today which made me sad for a little while 😭 but next time pakka better plan banega.

Still, somewhere I felt happy because my day stayed so busy that my disturbing dream didn’t keep repeating inside my head the entire day.

At night I lay down for some time, talked with mummy, scrolled reels, watched abbu quietly standing beside me watching YouTube recipes 😭 and then continued writing this blog.

And after thinking deeply for a long time, I finally decided something.

I’ll work harder in office.
I’ll save money slowly.
I’ll continue preparing for CFA.
But for now, I don’t want to take education loans.

Maybe Allah really is the best planner after all.

So tonight I’m ending this day with hope, dua and gratitude.

May everything slowly become easier.
May confusion turn into clarity.
May hard work bloom into something beautiful one day.

Alhamdulillah for this beautiful day. 🌻

— safarnama