Sunday… 2026 ka woh pehla din jo dil par bhaari reh gaya.
Hii… 🌙
Aaj Sunday tha… lekin aisa Sunday jo shayad main kabhi bhool nahi paungi.
Kabhi kabhi din simple nahi hote… woh ek test ban jaate hai—body ka bhi, aur dil ka bhi.
Kal raat se hi sab shuru hua…
Itna tez stomach pain tha ki na main kisi message ka reply kar paayi, na kisi se baat… bas phone ulta karke soch liya “so jaati hu, shayad theek ho jaaye.”
Lekin neend bhi aaj meri taraf nahi thi…
Har thodi der mein dard mujhe jaga deta… aur main bas paani peeti… khud ko samjhati… “thoda aur seh lo.”
Subah 7 baje tak main thak chuki thi—dard se bhi, aur khud se bhi.
Tab realize hua… kal shaam se maine kuch khaya hi nahi tha.
Kabhi kabhi hum apne aap ko itna ignore kar dete hai… ki body ko zor se yaad dilana padta hai.
Phir routine start hua—
Ammi ko bataya, unka apna reaction tha…
Main chup rahi… ya shayad andar se thodi toot gayi thi.
Dates khayi, lecture start kiya…
Dil mein regret tha—“aaj ka to-do list khatam nahi hoga.”
Aur waise hi hua… nahi hua.
11 baje painkiller li… aur phir bhi rukne ka option nahi tha.
Office jaana tha… ration card ka kaam…
Aur waha jaake sab kuch control se bahar chala gaya.
Behas… awaazein… gussa…
Aur sabse zyada—andar ka dard.
Mujhe jhoot aur unclear baatein kabhi pasand nahi…
Aur jab woh baar baar hoti hai… toh shayad meri awaaz bhi control mein nahi rehti.
Haan… maanti hu… maine battameezi ki… maine chillaya…
Par us waqt main sirf lad nahi rahi thi… main toot bhi rahi thi.
Sabse zyada jo chubha…
Woh yeh nahi tha ki main galat thi ya sahi…
Balki yeh tha ki jinke liye main stand le rahi thi…
shayad woh kabhi mere liye khade nahi honge.
Rote hue ghar aayi…
Gussa itna tha ki main khud ko samajh nahi pa rahi thi.
Phir ek impulsive decision—
Chacha ko call kiya… aur main akeli Malad nikal gayi.
Pehli baar… bina soche, bina feel kiye…
Na khushi thi, na dukh… bas ek khali sa safar.
Shayad main un logon ke liye ja rahi thi jo care nahi karte…
Ya shayad main khud se bhaag rahi thi.
Raat 10:30 baje ghar wapas aayi…
Thakki hui… be-hosh si…
Lekin phir bhi dil ne kaha—Alhamdulillah.
Raaste mein Chandryaari se baat hui… woh nahi mil paayi—thoda bura laga.
Lilboy se baat hui—aur ajeeb sa sukoon mila…
Kabhi kabhi bas kisi ka “sunna” hi kaafi hota hai.
Aaj Golu aur meri darling ka birthday bhi tha…
Celebrate nahi kar paayi… aur shayad yeh bhi dil ke ek kone mein reh gaya.
Aaj ka din perfect nahi tha…
Par real tha.
Painful tha… par sikhane wala bhi.
Alhamdulillah for everything… even the days that break me a little. 🌙
— Safarnama
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